Young man purchasing gift for girlfriend

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A young man wished to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart’s birthday, and as they had not been dating very long, after careful consideration he decided a pair of gloves would strike the right note – romantic, but not too personal.
Accompanied by his sweetheart’s younger sister, he bought a pair of white gloves; the younger sister purchased a pair of panties for herself.
During the wrapping, the clerk mixed up the items and the sister got the gloves and the sweetheart got the panties.
Without checking the contents first, he sealed his package and mailed it to his sweetheart along with this note:

Darling,

I chose these because I noticed that you are not in the habit of wearing any when we go out in the evening.
If it had not been for your sister, I would have chosen the long ones with buttons, but she wears short ones that are easy to remove.
These are a delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me the pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks and they were hardly soiled. I had her try yours on for me and she looked really smart.
I wish I were there to put them on you for the first time, as no doubt other hands will come in contact with them before I have a chance to see you again.
When you take them off, remember to blow in them before putting them away as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing.
Just think how many times I will kiss them during the coming year. I hope you will wear them for me on Friday night.

All my Love,
Hollingsworth

P.S. The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little fur showing.

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Erotic Punjabi Poem – Mar Jawana Mein Gur Khaa Ke

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Mar Jawana Mein Gur Khaa Ke
Waad Jawan Mein Thuk Laa Ke
Chatan Chuman Japhiyan Pawan
Raat Sari Chudan Reejahan Lah Ke

Vekh Lun Di Betabiyan
Phudi Kare Shatabiyan
Lun Pichak Pichak Jaay
Phuddi Chipak Chipak Jaay

Chut Vichora Lun Da
Ik Pal Vi Seh Nah Sake
Lun Phudi Bina Reh Na Sake
Isse Laiy Phuddi Mare
Waj Waja Ke

Mein So Janwan Phudi Wich Pake
Mar Jawan Mein Gur Kha Ke

Koi Mutiyar, Bhabhi, Chachi Maasi Ya Mami
Jehrri Rehndi Hoe Har Velle Vicch Garami
Jey Thand Leiye Chandi Hoye Chudwana
Us Noon Pey Ga Mere Kol Ik Ddin Awna
Ya Phir Mein Chuda Ga Us De Ghar Ja Ke
Mar Jawan Mein Gurr Kha Ke

Chatting Hoe Ya Karo E-Mail
Je Karna Lun Phudi Da Mail
Bula Lo Meinon Sari Sharman Lah Ke
Var Janga Thuk La Ke

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Train Time Table

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A Passenger once asked the railway officer, “Why do u keep the time-table for trains if they don’t come on time?”
The railway officer replied, “How can we know that they’re late!!!”

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About food items one should eat before having sex

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Question. I would like to know the food items that I should eat before having sex so that I will be able to satisfy my lady. Please reply.

Answer. Eat any vegetable you like best and with every bite think a sexual thought – maybe this will help you get all charged up before you have sex

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Trying for third child but not succeeding

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Question. I am 43 years old and my wife is 34. We have two girls, aged 11 and five respectively. We have been trying for a third child for the last three months, but haven’t succeeded. Do we need to get ourselves tested? Are there any medications available that can help us? Kindly guide us.

Answer. Visit your gynaecologist and discuss the issue. Increase your intercourse frequency to thrice a week from the eighth day of her period cycle counting from the first day. Have your sperm count checked and correct your lifestyle, if needed.

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18-year-old having queries on masturbation and nightfall

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Questions: I am 18 years old and have the following queries.

1) Is semen produced only after masturbation or also during intercourse?

2) Till what point should one’s foreskin comfortably slip back? Mine does until a mushroom-like structure appears on the penis. Is that ok?

3) I have heard that the foreskin must be pulled back before one wears a condom. Why is that?

4) My voice has broken and I have pubic hair, but my facial hair growth is very slow. Is that a problem?

5) I have been experiencing a lot of erotic dreams. On waking up, I find a wet patch on my underwear. Is this semen or urine?

6) Sometimes my urine flow is not unidirectional, but it comes out in different directions and wets my pants. What can I do?

Answers:

1) Semen is produced in the testes 24 hours a day, all 365 days in a year. Therefore excess semen is thrown out as nightfall.

2) The foreskin slips back up to the base of the head as you have described. At the lower part, it has an attachment. You are okay. Clean the area daily after slipping back the foreskin.

3) It is done because otherwise, there’s a tendency for it to slip off.

4) Why be in a hurry? Nature has its own time.

5) It is semen.

6) The urine can be controlled by using your hand to direct its flow

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Girl asking about contraceptives and avoiding pain on first night

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Question. I am 23 and will be getting married soon. My fiance doesn’t want to use a condom on our first night. I don’t want to get pregnant until one and half years after marriage. I have heard that contraceptive pills can harm. Also, what should I do to avoid pain on our first night? Please reply.

Answer. Ask your doctor about low dosage hormonal pills. They won’t harm you. After a few months on the tablet, consult your gynaecologist. For pain apply a small amount of Xylocaine gel 2% in and around your vagina, 20 minutes before sex and wipe off the excess.

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Married woman losing sexual desire

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Question. I am 29 years old and married. In the past year, I have lost my sexual desire. Between the ages of 23 to 26, I used to masturbate by inserting a finger in my vagina. A year later, I lost interest in it. Watching porn doesn’t help either. I’ve not had any sexual relationship with my husband. I am depressed. Please help.

Answer. Help yourself. Identify the reason behind this loss of desire. If necessary, approach a sexpert. If you co-operated with your husband and allowed him to engage in foreplay with you, it’s possible that your desires could be rekindled. Some medicines may help. For some a glass of wine works wonders

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