My First Kiss & Hug
I am new to the world of ISS and want to share my experience that happened more than 15 years ago. Everybody has one or two beautiful experiences which one wants to cherish for the rest of their life and I decided to pen down my own so that people can understand subtleties in love and affection. Most of the stores here deal with explicit description of the organs or their sexual acts.
My experience does not have such overt descriptions. Mail your feelings to me at sadhana_srinu@yahoo.com.For the sake of protecting the identity of persons I changed names and places.I am Srinivas from Tamil Nadu and joined Government of India as class I officer at the age of 25 and after attending training I was posted to Kerala. Being a probationer I was attached to a senior colleague who joined the service 6 years before I did.
His name is Rajesh Kumar, about 34 years old, fair, little short, say about 5’.6’’smart looking and hails from Uttar Pradesh. He was married and has one 6 months old kid. His wife Sadhana is also from Uttar Pradesh. She is about 5.2 tall, fair, attractive face and a petite body and about my age. God has endowed her with ample bosom and she does not know much of English.
Though she looks good what I did not like in her is her bob cut and she does not put vermilion or bindi on forehead. She prefers sleeveless blouses and tries to look modern.I had a government quarters in the same residential complex where my boss lives. As the place where we lived is little remote and small there were not many officers and social circle was very much restricted and this forced us to have a friendly relation after office hours.
Over a period of time, my boss became very friendly with me and used to invite me to his home for lunch and dinners frequently. We sip cold beer and discuss all kinds of issues often end up having hot discussions regarding Indian politics and economy and his wife used to pacify both by declaring dinner. I used to call her Madam, but never as Bhabi.
As time passed, Sadhana also became very friendly with me and used to discuss non-serious issues like movies, film stars etc., and little fussy over petty things and wants have an upper hand. She easily gets angry and pick up arguments with me and my boss used negotiate peace between us. Since I had a nice Tamil cook, I used to invite them to my home too for food and almost every day we used to spend the evenings together either in his place or in mine or used to go for a post dinner stroll together.
Like this life was going was coolly. Sometimes my boss had to go to head quarters for attending meetings as per his request I go to his home and chit chat with Sadhana. She discusses her family matters and inquired about my family, my child hood etc,. She asked me a couple of times whether I had any girl friends. I never had any till that time though I studied in a co-ed schools and colleges till my MA.
I am a six footer, dark complexioned and my friends say I am smart, but I was thin. I concentrated on my studies and never bothered about extra-curricular activities as we were a middle class family and my father had lot of responsibilities and seeing his struggle I decided to reach top positions and given all other mundane things a big bye. She used to disagree with my answers saying that I have good features and surely I must have had few girls following me.
I tried to convince her that I was neither the type who would go after girls and nor girls ever showed interest in me. She asked me what kind of girls I liked and feeling shy I avoided answering her. To save myself from the impending embarrassment I abstained from going to their place especially when her husband was not there in HQ.She complained to her husband that I am angry that is why I stopped seeing her.
Rajesh mildly admonished me saying that I should have given her company especially when he was not there. This was the faith he had in me.Whenever they visited me, he diverts his calls to my number which did not have a cordless. One day when he was away in the next room to attend a call, I found that her pallu moved to one side exposing her left breast. I wanted to look at it, but the fear of being caught prevented me from gazing.
I succeeded in turning my head away from her and she started talking about something and I was forced to look at her and my gaze wanders at her bosom. Before her husband arrived she adjusted her pallu. This thing happened repeatedly in the next two months and I thought it was not accidental but deliberate.
I realized that she wants become naughty as the marriage has entered a stage of platitude with the couple finding each other not very exciting as what has to be explored has already been explored. One day when they were in my home, he had a visitor. He excused himself and left for his residence to hand over some papers to him leaving his wife and kid in my company. When I returned to my chair after switching on the mosquito repellent,
I found her pallu lying in her lap exposing her breasts and a bit of her tummy. That day she was wearing sleeveless blouse. The sight of her rounded shoulders, pudding like tummy and overhanging breasts excited me a lot. I do not know the size of her breast but should be around 36 and cleavage is visible from the tight fitting blouse. I stared at her and feeling shy. She started discussing about Madhuri Dixit is Sailab movie and telling she was very voluptuous.
I stole a few glances at her and she caught me red handed but she smiled teasingly. But never she attempted to put on the Pallu. She suddenly lifted her hand over her head to wave off as if a mosquito was there and it revealed her clean shaven arm pit. I never had any fancy for arm pits but surely obsessed with firm shapely breasts. In fact huge drooping and pendulous breasts did not attract me but the medium sized erect ones.
She asked me whether I saw Titanic and what I liked the most in that movie and I said in the twilight the boy holds her while the ship was cruising and both stretch their hands as if they were flying like birds. She asked me what else I liked and I replied the words and looks of the hero just moments before he drowned finally. She prolonged the discussion what else I liked I said the entire movie and she asked me whether I did not like the scene when he draws the sketch of lady
Using charcoal and she continued that she really enjoyed that scene and saw in DVD lot many times and wished that her husband knew drawing. She inquired whether I know drawing and I replied that I draw but only landscapes. Then to my relief her husband returned, we had dinner and after their departure I fantasied her and masturbated.
She said that she has two younger sisters who are in University and both are very beautiful and they suit my personality. I was wondering with all this talk and after a month my boss asked me what kind of girl I intend to marry? I said I want a traditional Tamil girl who has long hairs, put a bindi on her forehead, performs Bharatanatyam or Veena. In fact I like traditional looking girls, who wear half saree, put jasmines in their plats.
She intervened why I have a particular liking for Bindi and long hair and I said I grew up in that environment where all people, irrespective of economic status, do all these things and I find them complete and attractive. She was visibly upset with my preferences. Maybe she thought I do not like her because she does not represent the woman I fancy. Though me and my boss meet as usual she did not join us for chitchatting on one or the other pretext.
My boss noticed and inquired whether she picked up any altercation with me on some issue and I said no. It took almost 2-3 weeks for her to regain her composure and again became her usual self. Seeing me not responding to her overtures she used provocative language whenever we were alone and used double meaning words huskily. This was all happening over the past 6 months. I sensed that she wants to get closer to me but I still refrained from her as I did not want to spoil a relation with my boss for few moments of pleasure with his wife.
She used to ask what I like in a woman and I told certain other things and when she insisted I said I can’t disclose all my dreams. She said that she can help me find a girl of my liking in UP and Delhi and I said no. She asked me whether I like tall or short, plump or slim and I gave my responses and again she asked me whether I like big or small?
I was shy, perturbed and embarrassed with this kind of questions and she saved the situation by saying she inquired about the body frame.One day when my boss was on tour, she telephoned me to come over to her place in the evening and we started discussing about the cricket match India had won that day against Pakistan some how the discussion when to Azharuddin and
Sangita Bizlani and she said Azhar is extremely lucky to get Sangita and I said she looks dumb to me. She argued that she is one of the prettiest girls and everybody likes to have a wife like that and I replied instantly that at least I do intend to marry her. After some discussion she said that I do not like her because she is not voluptuous as she does not possess big bosom. I said it that was not the reason.
In the mean while her pallu drooped in her lap and she all of a sudden said whether I liked her. I was silent and she repeated what I liked in her. Again I was silent. She said whether at least I liked her breasts. She insisted and I nodded. She was visibly very happy and came and sat near me. She looked in my eyes and took my fingers in her hand and slowly caressed them and lifted my hand and took it to her cheeks.
I was perspiring out of fear and tension and she asked me why I fear so much. She leaned forward and kissed the back of my palm and took it to her breast and kept it there. It was my first touch of a sensuous woman but I could not enjoy the moment. While she was leaning forward to hug, the baby cried and she left the room and I silently left her house. I recapitulated the scene again and again masturbated 2-3 times that day.
And that incident became little stale and nothing significant happened for the next 3 weeks. One day my boss proposed me his two salis and showed their photos. I said I am interested only in a Tamil girl. He said that it is his wife’s wish too that I marry her younger sister who is really very beautiful, fair, tall and good in household work. I could not say no him and pleaded for time to think over.
I have made a firm decision in my mind not to accept his offer but could not bluntly say no him and did not want upset him.After a fortnight we both went for a post dinner stroll and I told him that while I do not have objection to marry his wife’s sister, I have apprehension that she may not be able to adjust to the traditional life in South and can’t communicate with all. After few years of marriage, once the sexual or physical attraction comes down,
When both the partners look at the things as they are, they start find it a bit difficult to adjust and distance between the souls grows. Hence it is advisable to look for a suitable bridegroom for her in their own community in UP. He understood my predicament and said they he and Sadhana, my bosses wife, really liked me very well and thought his sister in law can be happy if I decided to marry her.
He said that I am one of the most sought after bachelors, as I have very good government job, good education, traditional values and also a attractive features and tall athletic body. We used to meet as usual and Sadhana also came to terms with the reality.
Once Rajesh had to urgently go to Delhi to attend some court case leaving behind his family in my care. I used to go his home every day morning after breakfast to inquire about welfare and again in the evening after office closes. On a Sunday morning when I went she as usual was in her nighty, but it was transparent revealing her curvaceous torso. She smiled naughtily and engaged in chitchat.
After a few minutes, the baby started crying and she excused herself, went inside to feed the baby. When she returned she was little bit changed, freshened her up, put bindi on forehead, a rose in her neatly combed bobbed hair. To my surprise I found her breasts swinging and I realised that she was not wearing a bra. While she was walking in to the room, I found as if Venus was coming with full grace.
She was smiling coy, and sat opposite to me and I could not take off my eyes from her and was visually devouring her sensuous disposition. I was enjoying the visual treat she smiled at me, got up and went away saying that she would prepare tea. I was recapitulating and remained in a excited state when she walked in with the tray of snacks and tea and there was wetness around her breasts and nipples were almost visible through the very pale blue color nighty.
My gaze was fixed and was looking at her bosom very shamelessly. She came near to offer me tea and bent forward and her breasts were drooping above the tea cup. While I stretched my hands to pick up the cup, a bizarre thing happened. Something tiny fell in my tea cup and the tiny droplets splashed on my face and dress. I raised my head to look whether any wall lizard had dropped anything or some dust particles from the ceiling fan fell in my cup.
When I looked down at my cup, again a few more drops fell in my cup and realized it was milk from her left breast.She did not notice it and inquired what happened? I was dumb and could not reply. She thought that I have seen her breasts from very close distance and was therefore dumbstruck and she too felt shy. She went and sat in her usual place and I was holding the cup in my hand, staring at it, not knowing whether to drink or not; whether to disclose to her or not.
She reminded me to drink and seeing me staring at it, reminded again. I was still transfixed and was like a rock.Sensing something, she looked at her chest and found that most part of her nighty was wet with her milk, with a few drops dripping from the folds off her nighty. Not only the contour but the shape and colour of breast, chest and part of tummy above navel were also clearly visible. She suddenly realised what could have happened and it sent a shudder in her body,
Bent her head down to avoid seeing me. When she raised her head after a moments I looked at her and there was a strange look in her eyes and she started watching me intensely, may be to see what I would do next.
I thought of asking for a fresh cup of tea on the grounds that the tea became c(g)old and realized that she may take it as insult. I decided to honor her femininity and motherhood and took it to my lip, and looking at her eyes I took a sip. I was flabbergasted and I had an erection and it made a bulge in my trousers and inadvertently I moved my hips and loins to make myself comfortably and it caught the attention of her experienced eyes and she winked at me.
I could not decipher her facial expressions till today. It was more enigmatic than Monalisa’s. I finished the tea without speaking a word and before put the empty cup down, I smiled at her and said thanks a lot.To my surprise she asked me whether I liked it. I was again dumb and slowly nodded. She asked whether I want some more. By then it became too much for me to bear and my lips quivered and my hands slightly trembled and overcame with emotion. I stood up and wanted to go and hug her but could not muster enough courage.
I was exchanging glances with her. She understood my mental state, she slowly walked in to her bed room where the baby was sleeping. After a few seconds I followed her and standing near the door. She looked at the baby, sat down on the bed took him in to her lap, opened buttons of her nighty and pushed the right breast out of nighty gently put the nipple in to the sleeping baby’s mouth who started sucking involuntarily.
I have a full view of the whole thing in front of me was watching without moving an inch from where I was standing. It was so wonderful so see the breast of a woman who was feeding her baby. There was ecstasy on her face. The joy of baby sucking milk, while her paramour watching it with awe. She looked at me smiled, saw appreciation in my eyes and changed the position of the baby to the left breast leaving the right breast open for me to watch.
I stood like a rock and did not move and enjoying the beautiful scene. It was like a Ravi Verma painting coming alive. A kind of happiness gripped me.
Neither I spoke nor did she. We both were drenched in a kind of love. After a few minutes as she was laying the baby on bed he woke up with a cry. To comfort him, she too laid on his side, with her face in my direction, put her hand on the baby and gently tapping him on his back.
While doing so she did not close the buttons of her nighty and was looking very relaxed and cool and her chest was mostly visible. My youth, my longing to touch a woman who is yearning for me, the opportunity, the privacy, the desire everything engulfed me. I decided to go and hug her, but still did not move.
Suddenly the telephone rang and I came out of the trance, and in the meanwhile she got from the bed, picked up the cordless phone and it was my boss from Delhi. She leaned on the head rest of the bed, made herself very comfortable stretching her legs and started taking to her husband and I could see her body in a very inviting posture. But something in me still prevented me to plunge forward to reach the desirable and inviting woman.
It was once of the difficult moments in my life as I was torn between loyalty and pleasure. In one swift move, walked out of the room, without saying a word headed to my quarters, masturbated. I had one of the violent orgasms that day and felt terribly week after wards and slept like a log. Evening I woke up, recapitulated the episode and felt miserable for having lost an opportunity by behaving foolishly.
I cursed myself and drank 4-5 pegs of whisky and slept without taking any food. Got up at 3.30 AM the next day, and again started thinking of the episode and somehow a strange feeling engulfed me. For some strange reason I felt very elated and happy. Happiness came from my act of omission than from the act of commission.
I did not betray my boss who had trusted me. I have sinned by fantasizing her and mentally not pure. Had I gone ahead and hugged, she would not have objected to me and in all probability we would have ended up having sex a couple of times that day and could have satiated our lust, but it would have left a deep scar on my psyche which I can’t erase. I thought about Sadhana, and what she might be thinking about me.
May be she thought I am an impotent. She could even think I betrayed her trust. A coward, a fool who does not know how to react to an invitation from a desirable woman.
Within two days my boss returned from Delhi and he invited me for dinner and avoided going there stating that I was not well and to justify I took casual leave for the next day. At about 11 am next day there was knock on my door, when I opened it was Sadhana. She came inside and sat and we exchanged pleasantries and this time she behaved very normally with me. We both behaved as if yesterday never existed.
She said that my boss might get transfer to Mumbai shortly and she looked very sorrowfully at me and in a jiffy left the room, without speaking a word.We used to meet as usual but we never had any heated arguments after that eventful day. My boss sensed that something is amiss and tried to figure out the reasons, but presumed that it must be a storm in a tea cup and forgot.
Within few days he got the transfer to Pune and he was very happy about it. They started packing and somehow I felt miserable as I was not only losing a good boss but also a friend. I did not meet Sadhana for few days as she was busy packing.
One day the local office organised a farewell dinner and I was aghast to see her. She was looking sick and lost. The eyes were looking like plastic without lustre, sparkle and they had no life. We glanced at each other, and conveyed to her thorough my eyes that I am sorry for what all happened. There were a few empty glances between us during the event and we departed after a small talk.
The day of reckoning arrived when they had to leave for Pune. Their train for Chennai was at 10.30 PM from where they would fly to Mumbai, and their personnel effects had already been dispatched by truck same day in the morning. Invited them for lunch, she was reluctant to have lunch saying that she is tired and at my pleading she agreed.
We finished lunch by 4 pm, as Mr Rajesh wanted to say good bye to some acquaintances and colleagues in other departments he had left and she had to stay in my quarters as the guest house was fully occupied by the local minister.
I returned from office at 5.30 and found Sadhana sitting in the living room. We glanced at each other, and there was heaviness in the atmosphere with each of us choked with emotions, not wanting to say a word. To clear the airs, I left the room, prepared tea and offered her a cup who was sitting in a cane chair. It was a similar setting less than a month ago that left us in the present milieu.
Her empty looks, blank stare stirred the emotions in my heart and tears swelled in my eyes and a drop fell on her hand. She looked at my tear filled eyes, took the cup and placed on the table. To hide myself I went to kitchen and wiped my tears and turned around. She was standing there, we looked at each other for a few moments. I went near her, took her face in my hands looking very deeply in to her eyes,
I kissed her forehead and she put her hands around my neck and drew me closer. We remained in that embrace for a few minutes enjoying the intimacy and warmth. I did not think anything other than her affection and love. I did not think of betrayal. There was no feeling of guilt but pure joy, elation and some inexplicable feeling. For me it was the first touch of a woman. We hugged each other and I slowly rubbed her back while she held my neck tenderly and drew me closer and kissed my lips.
It was the first kiss of my life. I enjoyed the kiss and still remember its freshness. I opened my mouth as if I was in a hypnotised state and she took my lower lip in between her teeth and nibbled. I enjoyed every bit of the moment. She gave a very deep kiss and her saliva flowed in to mine. She darted her tongue in to my mouth and remained in each other’s tight embrace. I slowly slid my hands down and they touched her naked waist, between blouse and saree and was mesmerized with its softness.
I slightly removed my head from her grip, looked in to her eyes and kissed those lotuses very passionately. She burst in to tears and hugged me very tight, and was sobbing uncontrollably. Tears again swelled in my eyes. I lifted her in my hands, took her to bed room and gently dropped her on my bed and also sat on the edge of the bed near her waist.
I wiped her tears, bent forward and kissed her lips and smeared kissed all over her face, ears, chin, neck and shoulders not covered by blouse. I kept my head in the curve of her neck and remained like that enjoying her warmth. She uttered my name umpteen number of times without saying anything.
After about 30 minutes, we regained her composure and overcame emotion. We freed ourselves. She went to rest room for arranging her ruffled hair and freshening, while I headed for kitchen for preparing a fresh cup of tea. We sat on the sofa very closely touching each other, she leaned her head on my shoulder and I put my hand over her shoulder and forearm as if reassuring my love for her.
Those few moments are so wonderful I cherish them for the rest of my life. She dropped in my lap with her head resting on my left thigh, she folded her legs so that she would fit within the length of sofa. I caressed her cheeks with my fingers very gently, all the time looking in to each other’s eyes and remained like this.
We knew that her husband is likely to return shortly and we may not meet again in life and we have to bury our love. I kissed her lips, took her tongue in to my mouth and enjoying the female touch. She pressed my head very tight before asking me to lift my face. She put aside her pallu, unhooked buttons of her blouse and her wonderful bosom got exposed and I tenderly rolled my fingers on the breasts.
She pulled my head over her breasts and I buried my face in the cleavage. She asked me to unclasp her white lacy bra, and when I did she lifted the bra up and tenderly pushed her breast in to my mouth and I started sucking it like her baby. While I was suckling she closed her eyes and murmuring my name saying Sreenu, Sreenu and Sreenu. She asked me to suckle the other breast and I drank milk to my hearts contentment, while fondling the other breast.
We soon realized it was time, I lifted my head from her breasts held each of them in my hands and gently rolled all over kissed them all over. Again I took them inn to my mouth, rolled my tongue over the nipple, areola and gently squeezed them and drank the mild that spurted from them. We got up slowly with so much of pain in our hearts, impulsively I put back her mammary in to bra, adjusted them in the cup, clasped the bra strap, hooked her blouse and arranged her Pallu.
I hugged her very closely kissed her and said though I loved her really and did not dare leave any scar on her psyche as in a spur of moment we may certain things that would haunt us for long. I told her that was the reason why I avoided her. I added that what all happened today was impulsive, I cherished every bit of it without any feeling of guilt. She nodded said that she liked my nature and wanted me to remember her as a friend. She hugged me gently and said she really liked me.
My boss returned and we went to a nice restaurant for dinner, and from there I drove them to railway station. I gifted her a nice Cashmere shawl and pack of scented dehydrated roses in glass bowl. The train arrived, they boarded and I wished them good bye. My boss hugged me and Sadhana also came forward and extended her hand and said she misses me and said that it was her sister’s bad luck.
My boss said, do not mind her words. As the train whistled, we all had tears in our eyes and got down and waved them bye.After wards I got married to a traditional girl of my liking. I have two children and presently posted in Chennai. Mr Rajesh Kumar is now posted in Delhi. During my LTC to Shimla, I visited them with my wife and children. Seeing my selection both Rajesh and Sadhana complimented me in her presence saying that she is really very beautiful and talented.
I am still in touch with both of them and meet them whenever I go to Delhi. When I went to his home once, she was alone. We sat side by side holding each others hand talked about our families, though there was opportunity for both of us to kiss and fondle each other. But we did not do any such thing.
Today I do not feel that I cheated Rajesh or my wife as it is not a memoir but a sweet memory. U can be my conscious keeper and give your comment whether my act on the very last day of her stay amounts to cheating my boss and friend.
